What does it mean when someone says they haven't had enough of the freedom?? What does it mean when someone says they want you to respect them??
And I wonder, how often do the people who asks for these, look within themselves and think through whether they have given that same level of freedom and respect that you've been giving them and yet they demand for more??
I wonder...
*in a voodoo doll mode... wishing I can stick some needles in a certain voodoo doll*
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Scream
Saw this poem by a contemporary Indian poet and some of the images really strike me as haunting and bleak... but there are some parts that I still don't quite get from the poem...Posted it on DPS (S) to find out what others can interpret from it but so far no reply yet... wonder if any of you guys have any ideas....
(From Random Descent, 2005)
Scream
by Jayanta Mahapatra
A scream never ends. It tries
to be kind, but our hatred keeps
coming between us. The night stands
like a conqueror over it, the spear of darkness
held in her hands, the centre of everything.
Like a dark stubborn child, the scream.
Like its mother, cold, aloof.
It is inside my head all the time,
as days and shadows pass by,
till it wakens me to a different reality,
till it dislikes me for its throne's sake.
Ashes of sobs, the baying of hounds,
the snarling jaws of ceremony, the vomit of iron.
A scream tests warm, small innocences,
divests the long moment of its manhood.
Wild as the Dance, the Winds and Flood,
its deep streets are mortared with bone and blood.
Blindfold your scream again, sweet Mariam,
with the quick blood flowing down your seven-year thighs.
(From Random Descent, 2005)
Scream
by Jayanta Mahapatra
A scream never ends. It tries
to be kind, but our hatred keeps
coming between us. The night stands
like a conqueror over it, the spear of darkness
held in her hands, the centre of everything.
Like a dark stubborn child, the scream.
Like its mother, cold, aloof.
It is inside my head all the time,
as days and shadows pass by,
till it wakens me to a different reality,
till it dislikes me for its throne's sake.
Ashes of sobs, the baying of hounds,
the snarling jaws of ceremony, the vomit of iron.
A scream tests warm, small innocences,
divests the long moment of its manhood.
Wild as the Dance, the Winds and Flood,
its deep streets are mortared with bone and blood.
Blindfold your scream again, sweet Mariam,
with the quick blood flowing down your seven-year thighs.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
People are like Onions...
We might have heard this expression often enough but most of the time, we are just referring to how much we know about a person i.e. their external vs internal thoughts & character....
but that's not my line of thinking... People are like onions in terms of how they've chosen to live their lives... There are people who have grown up knowing only those things that happen around them, where their whole lives are governed by immediate concerns. Things like growing up, getting married, settling down, getting the right job, their families, their kids. Some of us in Singapore might refer to them as heartlanders. To me, they are like the core of an onion, shelled in and untouched by happenings outside of their immediate perspective, not knowing and not wishing to know what's outside of that shell.
Then there are those who are concerned with current affairs around the world, who read the news and know what's happening outside of their comfort zone. They know more about what's going on but most only scratch the surface. These people are like the next couple of layers above and around the core. It's not that they are not interested... they are... but they don't go beyond just gaining common information so they don't sound ignorant.
Then there are those who get to the roots of that knowledge. They can grasp and understand what are the forces at play. They can look at politics and understand what was not written in the news but yet play an powerful part in influencing how things turn out. These people are what I think the outer layer of the onion, pretty much in touch with everything, interior and exterior, and they know how to manipulate that information to get what they want, to benefit themselves and their situation, or even that of others....
and for me... I want to break out of that shell....
just rambling....
but that's not my line of thinking... People are like onions in terms of how they've chosen to live their lives... There are people who have grown up knowing only those things that happen around them, where their whole lives are governed by immediate concerns. Things like growing up, getting married, settling down, getting the right job, their families, their kids. Some of us in Singapore might refer to them as heartlanders. To me, they are like the core of an onion, shelled in and untouched by happenings outside of their immediate perspective, not knowing and not wishing to know what's outside of that shell.
Then there are those who are concerned with current affairs around the world, who read the news and know what's happening outside of their comfort zone. They know more about what's going on but most only scratch the surface. These people are like the next couple of layers above and around the core. It's not that they are not interested... they are... but they don't go beyond just gaining common information so they don't sound ignorant.
Then there are those who get to the roots of that knowledge. They can grasp and understand what are the forces at play. They can look at politics and understand what was not written in the news but yet play an powerful part in influencing how things turn out. These people are what I think the outer layer of the onion, pretty much in touch with everything, interior and exterior, and they know how to manipulate that information to get what they want, to benefit themselves and their situation, or even that of others....
and for me... I want to break out of that shell....
just rambling....
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I should have known better...
I should have known better... than to start reading a new storybook on a weekday night. I should have known my reading habits by now but still, I failed to resist the temptation.
And now I regret... having stayed up till 5 am this morning, I actually finished reading the entire book (not a large book). And with eyes attempting to stay closed everytime I blinked and a brain that is more asleep than awake, having rested for less than 2 hours, I'm paying the price for giving in to my temptation to read a book... argh....
sleepy, tired... I need my bed....
And now I regret... having stayed up till 5 am this morning, I actually finished reading the entire book (not a large book). And with eyes attempting to stay closed everytime I blinked and a brain that is more asleep than awake, having rested for less than 2 hours, I'm paying the price for giving in to my temptation to read a book... argh....
sleepy, tired... I need my bed....
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
D&D - Dungeons and Dragons... kekeke
Hehehe.... it's my time to say I'm having so much fun!!! kekekee the reason?? My brother bought a pair of speakers for his room and after trying to arrange for the speakers, the amplifier, his huge flatscreen TV, dvd player and PS2 in his room, he has run out of space for anything else. The result?? He passed me his Xbox!!! muahahaha...
Been having fun cutting down monsters and skeletons last night, playing Dungeons and Dragons - Heroes. kekekeke.... Now not only can I play Battle for Middle-Earth on my computer as and when I wish to, I can simply plug in and play Xbox games too!! and along with the Xbox, he passed me all the games he had bought so far.... hehehe it's PLAYTIME!!!!
Been having fun cutting down monsters and skeletons last night, playing Dungeons and Dragons - Heroes. kekekeke.... Now not only can I play Battle for Middle-Earth on my computer as and when I wish to, I can simply plug in and play Xbox games too!! and along with the Xbox, he passed me all the games he had bought so far.... hehehe it's PLAYTIME!!!!
Friday, October 07, 2005
You scored as Samantha Jones. Your Samantha Jones! Your a power driven woman, with sex never too far off mind. You tend to get a little distant with your friends sometimes, but you just have a different way of handling situations. You know who wears the pants in your reltaionships with men. Your the life of the party, and god dammit no one will tell you different!
Which of the 4 Sex & the City Gals are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com |
Monday, October 03, 2005
I know what you're thinking....
Wished I was something different though..... kekeke
You scored as Jean Grey. Jean Grey is likely the most powerful X-Man. She loves Cyclops very much but she has a soft spot for Wolverine. She's psychic so she can sense how others are feeling and tries to help them. She also has to control her amazing powers or the malevolent Phoenix entity could take control of her and wreak havok. Powers: Telekinetic, Telepathic
Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com |
Thursday, September 29, 2005
The 12th
Disclaimer: I hope this piece doesn't offend anyone, particularly the family of the victim. It's just an expression of my personal opinion that this could have been avoided if the more were done earlier. What's important and what's not....? Does it have to wait till it hits the news on the front page or when lives are lost?
The 12th
Today I made the news.
Amongst outlook on the economy
and morning Orchard declared ERP-free.
While ASEAN looks for closer links
and Microsoft and Symantec encounter high-end piracy
Today I made the news.
When Hock Kee owners move out
and Simei neighbours go to court.
Whilst SAVH and NCSS dispute over authority
and social skepticism looms over organizations for charity.
Today I made the news.
As Indonesians rage over cut fuel subsidies
and labour strike plagues Manmohan Singh.
When Tokyo is thrilled over a giant squid
while Silk Road's reopening looks like a longer wait.
Today I made the news.
Amongst an unknown teacher made prime minister
and criticisms of Germany's political disarray.
While French soldiers storm a car ferry
and British assures Iran of diplomacy.
Today I made the news.
The third this month, the twelfth this year.
Amongst Malaysia's 70, Philippines' 260
and Indonesia's 540 as the dengue runs check-free.
Today I made the news.
The 12th
Today I made the news.
Amongst outlook on the economy
and morning Orchard declared ERP-free.
While ASEAN looks for closer links
and Microsoft and Symantec encounter high-end piracy
Today I made the news.
When Hock Kee owners move out
and Simei neighbours go to court.
Whilst SAVH and NCSS dispute over authority
and social skepticism looms over organizations for charity.
Today I made the news.
As Indonesians rage over cut fuel subsidies
and labour strike plagues Manmohan Singh.
When Tokyo is thrilled over a giant squid
while Silk Road's reopening looks like a longer wait.
Today I made the news.
Amongst an unknown teacher made prime minister
and criticisms of Germany's political disarray.
While French soldiers storm a car ferry
and British assures Iran of diplomacy.
Today I made the news.
The third this month, the twelfth this year.
Amongst Malaysia's 70, Philippines' 260
and Indonesia's 540 as the dengue runs check-free.
Today I made the news.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
macho men...
Hehe... while most gals go gaga over the blond elf in LOTR or the rugged looking ranger... I thought one of the characters that struck me as handsome and macho and I liked was Eomer... kekeke... and disappointingly the LOTR movie website didn't have enough nice photos of him... kekeke... so while I'm watching the trilogy over again on DVD, just can't help getting over the fact that I think he's cute and manly... kekeke
urgh.... dragging myself
That's what I get for staying up late for 3 nights consecutively to play games.... been playing Battle for Middle Earth and just realised how addictive the game is... heh....
must say that the team who worked together to create the LOTR films are really quite a bunch of geniuses.... they even constructed the sets for Edoras on a conservation site and restored everything back to normal after filming... definitely worth the millions they spent in getting the film to look, feel and sound real....
... and that's the result of staying up late also to watch the mini-features in my LOTR DVD set... kekekeke
must say that the team who worked together to create the LOTR films are really quite a bunch of geniuses.... they even constructed the sets for Edoras on a conservation site and restored everything back to normal after filming... definitely worth the millions they spent in getting the film to look, feel and sound real....
... and that's the result of staying up late also to watch the mini-features in my LOTR DVD set... kekekeke
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
mindless blogging of a thick-skinned kittyn
Just thought I might as well do some mindless blogging before I start my day...
Anticipating a few fellow animals' birthdays these couple of months and realised that as the years go by, it gets tougher and tougher to think of good birthday presents to get them... I, for one, believe in giving presents that are eventually useful... something that can be worn, used or applied... whatever it is. I simply dunno what to do with those cutesy ornaments that I sometimes receive from acquaintances and even colleagues during christmas and I pretty much prefered a food voucher than a cutesy paperweight.
So for those of you who happen to be peeking in now and then, let's make things simple. Instead of giving you one long wishlist of things that are too expensive that you can't afford to get me, or things that I would rather receive from certain particular people... here it is.
I need either a wallet or a sleek laptop bag that can fit my 15" office-issued notebook. Yes piggy... the wallet you've given me two years ago is starting to show some signs of wear and tear... sorry abt the rough use.... but it has also been the most widely travelled among my previous wallets... Nothing too expensive or fancy... as you know, nothing appeals to me more than plain black. Braun Buffel might be a good guide on the type I want... kekeke...
so here you go.... from a thick-skinned kittyn
Anticipating a few fellow animals' birthdays these couple of months and realised that as the years go by, it gets tougher and tougher to think of good birthday presents to get them... I, for one, believe in giving presents that are eventually useful... something that can be worn, used or applied... whatever it is. I simply dunno what to do with those cutesy ornaments that I sometimes receive from acquaintances and even colleagues during christmas and I pretty much prefered a food voucher than a cutesy paperweight.
So for those of you who happen to be peeking in now and then, let's make things simple. Instead of giving you one long wishlist of things that are too expensive that you can't afford to get me, or things that I would rather receive from certain particular people... here it is.
I need either a wallet or a sleek laptop bag that can fit my 15" office-issued notebook. Yes piggy... the wallet you've given me two years ago is starting to show some signs of wear and tear... sorry abt the rough use.... but it has also been the most widely travelled among my previous wallets... Nothing too expensive or fancy... as you know, nothing appeals to me more than plain black. Braun Buffel might be a good guide on the type I want... kekeke...
so here you go.... from a thick-skinned kittyn
Monday, September 19, 2005
To be or not to be...
| Your Career Type: Artistic |
 You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary. |
Friday, September 16, 2005
anybody wants to lend a hand??
Congratulations! You are Lynette Scavo, the
ex-career woman who traded the boardroom for
boredom, mixed with moments of sheer panic as
the mother of four unmanageable kids.
Which Desperate Housewife are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday, September 10, 2005
seven things...
Seven things that scare me
That my brain stops working and becomes lazy
That I fall critically ill and my loved ones got to take care of me my whole life
That I can't give my loved ones happiness
Of being alone forever
That I lose interest in improving myself
That I become totally frivolous - that all I care about are fashion and looks
That I have to become financially dependent
Seven things I like the most
Reading a good book
Strong black coffee
Sleeping in bed during rainy days
Watching a good movie - whether in a cinema or on DVD
Travelling and seeing how people live in their daily lives
Trying out good food
Hanging out with my friends
Seven important things in my room
My books
My DVD collection
Gifts / letters from my friends
My bed - well it has to be comfy for my problematic back... and who wouldn't want a comfy snuggle in a good bed on a rainy day
My phone / handphone - i feel so handicapped without one
My pictures
My cat
Seven random facts about me
Just went shopping around Chennai with my boss
Very vain about my weight & body - even though I admit I have less to worry about than some people
Haven't practiced playing my instrument for months though I love playing it
I tend to procrastinate things that I don't like to do
I can read for hours 24/7 if it's a good book I enjoy
I like to write but I don't pay much attention to style
My favourite holiday is simply lazing around the beach and uncontactable though I'm scared of being alone and totally cut off
Seven things to do before I die
Travel around Europe and see more of history
Tell everyone I love that I love them
Learn how to cook really well so I can cook for my loved ones
Learn as much as I can (so I know I didn't live in vain)
Get married
Have kids and raise them the way I wasn't (though I think they'll drive me up the wall at some point)
Spend romantic evenings strolling through the park with my loved one hand in hand
Seven things I can do
Make brownies
Be clever with words and write some sort of poetry
Play a Chinese instrument
Lend a good ear / shoulder to my friends when the need arises
Find my direction quickly in new places
Be adaptable to wherever I am
Solve simple computer problems on my own
Seven things I can't do
Dive
Be tactful all the time (I'm too straightforward)
Be patient and control my temper (I tend to lose it sometimes... esp after a long day)
Rollerblade
Wake up bright and cheery in the early mornings (I'm super grouchy when I do that)
Eat without a care (yes, I am vain and eating lots cost money too)
Control my finances (I try but it still needs improvement)
Seven things I say the most
Shit
Fuck
Idiot
Yup
Oops
Sorry
Damn
Seven celeb crushes
Brad Pitt
Richard Gere (big time!!!)
Val Kilmer
River Phoenix (when he was still alive)
Harrison Ford
Patrick Stewart (He is one sexy bald man!!)
Shah Ruk Khan!!!!!
Seven people who will have to do this
Purple Dusk (she already did it... she started it first)
Piggy
Panda
DP
X-men
Yuen Li
Killahurtz (sorry to drag you into this... i need to make the number... haha)
That my brain stops working and becomes lazy
That I fall critically ill and my loved ones got to take care of me my whole life
That I can't give my loved ones happiness
Of being alone forever
That I lose interest in improving myself
That I become totally frivolous - that all I care about are fashion and looks
That I have to become financially dependent
Seven things I like the most
Reading a good book
Strong black coffee
Sleeping in bed during rainy days
Watching a good movie - whether in a cinema or on DVD
Travelling and seeing how people live in their daily lives
Trying out good food
Hanging out with my friends
Seven important things in my room
My books
My DVD collection
Gifts / letters from my friends
My bed - well it has to be comfy for my problematic back... and who wouldn't want a comfy snuggle in a good bed on a rainy day
My phone / handphone - i feel so handicapped without one
My pictures
My cat
Seven random facts about me
Just went shopping around Chennai with my boss
Very vain about my weight & body - even though I admit I have less to worry about than some people
Haven't practiced playing my instrument for months though I love playing it
I tend to procrastinate things that I don't like to do
I can read for hours 24/7 if it's a good book I enjoy
I like to write but I don't pay much attention to style
My favourite holiday is simply lazing around the beach and uncontactable though I'm scared of being alone and totally cut off
Seven things to do before I die
Travel around Europe and see more of history
Tell everyone I love that I love them
Learn how to cook really well so I can cook for my loved ones
Learn as much as I can (so I know I didn't live in vain)
Get married
Have kids and raise them the way I wasn't (though I think they'll drive me up the wall at some point)
Spend romantic evenings strolling through the park with my loved one hand in hand
Seven things I can do
Make brownies
Be clever with words and write some sort of poetry
Play a Chinese instrument
Lend a good ear / shoulder to my friends when the need arises
Find my direction quickly in new places
Be adaptable to wherever I am
Solve simple computer problems on my own
Seven things I can't do
Dive
Be tactful all the time (I'm too straightforward)
Be patient and control my temper (I tend to lose it sometimes... esp after a long day)
Rollerblade
Wake up bright and cheery in the early mornings (I'm super grouchy when I do that)
Eat without a care (yes, I am vain and eating lots cost money too)
Control my finances (I try but it still needs improvement)
Seven things I say the most
Shit
Fuck
Idiot
Yup
Oops
Sorry
Damn
Seven celeb crushes
Brad Pitt
Richard Gere (big time!!!)
Val Kilmer
River Phoenix (when he was still alive)
Harrison Ford
Patrick Stewart (He is one sexy bald man!!)
Shah Ruk Khan!!!!!
Seven people who will have to do this
Purple Dusk (she already did it... she started it first)
Piggy
Panda
DP
X-men
Yuen Li
Killahurtz (sorry to drag you into this... i need to make the number... haha)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
woke up on the wrong side of bed...
Maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or maybe it just happens to be the day when people choose to piss me off...
had a stupid reporter who told me that the deadline for a reply to his query is today and saw an email in the morning from him, sent yesterday evening rushing me to give an answer... *pissed* How would he like it if I told him his deadline is next week and then start rushing him yesterday as though he has missed it by a month? idiots....
Then received a silly phonecall promoting some newsletter about taxation and the person trying to promote the newsletter was pausing for 30 secs after every sentence she says:
"hello"
*pause*
"can i speak to XXXXX?"
"yes speaking" I said.
*pause super long*
"I would like to congratulate you that you have been selected...."
*pause*
"to receive a free exclusive newsletter.... *blah blah blah*"
end of my limited patience this morning... at which point I said "Sorry I'm not interested."
And not to mention the promoter was speaking with an unrecognisable accent that makes deciphering what she was saying extra difficult.
sigh.... hope the day turns better as it goes...and oh yes... I'm feeling bitchy today.
had a stupid reporter who told me that the deadline for a reply to his query is today and saw an email in the morning from him, sent yesterday evening rushing me to give an answer... *pissed* How would he like it if I told him his deadline is next week and then start rushing him yesterday as though he has missed it by a month? idiots....
Then received a silly phonecall promoting some newsletter about taxation and the person trying to promote the newsletter was pausing for 30 secs after every sentence she says:
"hello"
*pause*
"can i speak to XXXXX?"
"yes speaking" I said.
*pause super long*
"I would like to congratulate you that you have been selected...."
*pause*
"to receive a free exclusive newsletter.... *blah blah blah*"
end of my limited patience this morning... at which point I said "Sorry I'm not interested."
And not to mention the promoter was speaking with an unrecognisable accent that makes deciphering what she was saying extra difficult.
sigh.... hope the day turns better as it goes...and oh yes... I'm feeling bitchy today.
wow agape huh?? tall order....
| Your Love Style is Agape |
 You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. |
Friday, September 02, 2005
Finally I completed this piece
Started on this piece about half a month ago but somehow lost the inspiration to carry on. Anyway just a short piece that plays on the similarities of music and perhaps love.... how a musical piece can manipulate one's emotions and feelings.... connoting different images in our minds....
the playful tease of a flirty tune, the sweetness of a romantic song, the zealous fever of a passionate serenade, the sudden shock of a song of conflict and the silent departure as the song ends....
enjoy...
His Song
Softly he whispers in my ear,
Gentle yet wistful, delicately clear,
Lightly it danced on the mild spring breeze,
Lifting the spirit with apparent ease.
Tenderly he sings to my heart,
Kind and loving, deeply passionate,
Subtly it grew, like a rose it blossomed
Glowing like ambers in the bosom.
Ardently he croons to my being,
Intense and devoted, zealously wooing,
Fervently it burned with white heat on its flames
Ablaze, it sets the soul on fire.
Madly he tears through my mind,
Quick and violent, vehemently blind,
Suddenly it rents with the keenness of steel
Slicing the heart like tender veal
Coldly he left my empty shell,
Aloof and distant, eerily hell,
Silently it faded with the body grown weary
Leaving naught but a scar in memory.
the playful tease of a flirty tune, the sweetness of a romantic song, the zealous fever of a passionate serenade, the sudden shock of a song of conflict and the silent departure as the song ends....
enjoy...
His Song
Softly he whispers in my ear,
Gentle yet wistful, delicately clear,
Lightly it danced on the mild spring breeze,
Lifting the spirit with apparent ease.
Tenderly he sings to my heart,
Kind and loving, deeply passionate,
Subtly it grew, like a rose it blossomed
Glowing like ambers in the bosom.
Ardently he croons to my being,
Intense and devoted, zealously wooing,
Fervently it burned with white heat on its flames
Ablaze, it sets the soul on fire.
Madly he tears through my mind,
Quick and violent, vehemently blind,
Suddenly it rents with the keenness of steel
Slicing the heart like tender veal
Coldly he left my empty shell,
Aloof and distant, eerily hell,
Silently it faded with the body grown weary
Leaving naught but a scar in memory.
ok ok... I'm feeling a little frivolous today... kekeke
Part Expert Kisser |
 You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable |
Part Romantic Kisser |
 For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet |
hmmm..... how can 40% still be wierd??
| You Are 40% Weird |
 Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it! |
