In need of rest...

Have you ever had the feeling that you just want to disappear and fade away? No... not in the suicidal or morbid sense. But just that you are so thoroughly exhausted in your mind and physically that you wish for once, you can just go away for a period of time, without a care in the world?

Life has its many demands and as one spends years working to make ends meet, the burden on our shoulders get heavier and heavier. The family needs your attention, your work requires it, sometimes even your personal life with friends and partners. And Man's resources are so limited. There's no way we can shoulder on all the cares the world lays on us without feeling depletion and exhaustion at some point.

And that is me at the moment. I'm feeling thoroughtly drained... physically and mentally. If I were a sponge, I would be one that is so dried up that I'm hard as a rock yet brittle at the single shake. After working for 8 years, with the exception of short weekend breaks to nearby countries, I haven't really rested. I think I've reached my breaking point... to an extent. A longer break of a couple of months seem like a luxury... but at this point, more like a neccessity to me. Not just some holiday somewhere with a partner. I'm actually looking forward to being a total hermit for that period, if I can. Basically, I need some time to rest... and to be entirely on my own so I can find myself again.

How I wish this was true... haha

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

I'm Sorry

Dark irises peeped
Through wrinkled lids
That inched open sluggishly.

Grieving tears surged,
pouring over the aged rims
to stream down sallow cheeks.

His calloused hand,
Weathered,
Through decades of giving
And loving,
grasped feebly for mine.

His hoarse whisper
Uttered,
Wrecking his ruined lungs
With each quaking breath:

“I’m sorry
That I can’t see
You graduate.”

The dam shattered,
Composure vanquished
By sorrowful regret,
Flooding, drowning
In youthful memory
Of a promise
Unfulfilled, thwarted
In death.

“I’m sorry
That I can’t
Bring you home.”


My late grandfather's lifelong wish was for a chance to go back to his hometown in China. When I was ten, I learned of his wish and made a promise that I would study hard, graduate and earn enough money to bring him home to visit. That promise went unfulfilled when he succumbed to lung cancer and passed away when I was still in uni....

Can I go back in time??

Grammar has reclaimed its glory in the school syllabus.... and that's great news. Even though I was lucky enough to get a somewhat basic education on the English language and grammatical rules, I have never quite understood some parts of it. Sometimes, it feels such a waste not being able to fully exercise the intricacies of the language when I'm writing.

I remember the ironic situation in secondary school when despite scoring top marks in school for my prelims in English, I signed up for a course on English at the RELC and was severely humbled by the teacher. I learned my lesson then and became more conscious of what I write... trying to improve my skills all the time. And these days, when I see the sort of abuse the language has been subjected to with the insurgence of sms language, it sets me in an irritable mood. Same thing happens when I come across bad usage, or rather, inability to use the Chinese language.

And the sad thing these days is that children hardly have any interest in reading. What happened to everyone's favourite hobby of reading? I thank my brother for bringing back my first storybook from the library when I was in primary one and that sparked my passion for books. I went through that phase of devouring Enid Blytons, Nancy Drews, Sweet Dreams and graduated to David Eddings, Raymond E Feist and Isaac Asimov by the time I was in Primary Six. That helped me to develop what I can do with my languages today, as I vaguely remember my primary school teacher's remarks in my report book... "need to improve her English." Today, I dread the thought of shifting homes as I look at my bookshelf.... five shelves, each are laid with three rows of books from inside to the brim of the shelf and two rows of books tall. And that's not counting the box of books the movers lost when I last shifted...

Still, there doesn't seem to be enough ammunition in my language prowess. Can I go back in time and learn it all over again...??

It's quite true... Sometimes I can be honest to the point of being tactless and I know that.... Luckily I've got pretty understanding friends... kekeke

Your Values Profile

Loyalty: You value loyalty a fair amount. You're loyal to your friends... to a point. But if they cross you, you will reconsider your loyalties. Staying true to others is important to you, but you also stay true to yourself. Honesty: You value honesty highly. You're unflinchingly honest, even when it's not easy. For you, integrity is very important - in yourself and others. People may not always like what you say, but they know they can trust it. Generosity: You value generosity a fair amount. You are all about giving, as long as there's some give and take. Supportive and kind, you don't mind helping out a friend in need. But you know when you've given too much. You have no problem saying "no"! Humility: You value humility highly. You have the self-confidence to be happy with who you are. And you don't need to seek praise to make yourself feel better. You're very modest, and you're keep the drama factor low. Tolerance: You value tolerance a fair amount. You are open to new cultures, beliefs, and ideas. You have very few prejudices that you're aware of. And while you are tolerant, you do stand true to what you believe.

The Five Factor Values Test