How often do we look into the mirror to find ourselves and analyse what we have done? When things go awry in our work, relationships and life, how often do we look at the problem with a rear view mirror and ask where we have gone wrong?
Were there occasions where you felt that your colleagues are unduly rude to you or unfriendly? Or you find that everytime you ask your colleague for a task or a favour, they show you an attitude that tells the world they don't enjoy working with you? Perhaps it is time you look back at that rear view mirror and ask what have you done to incur such feelings. Have you ever been rude or unreasonable to them? Have you done anything that incurred their grudge e.g. told their boss something that you didn't have to and it reflected badly on them?
Were there occasions where you wonder where all your friends have gone? Where were the times when you get to share in everything they do? Where were the times when you hung out with them and b*tched about everything? When was the last time your friends let you in on everything they do? Perhaps it is time you look into your heart and ask what have you done for your friends? Have you bothered to take the initiative to keep in touch with them? Have you neglected them? Have you bothered to manage your time so you can spend time with your friends when they ask you out? Have you incurred their mistrust by lying to them? or worse... repeatedly done so? Have you made use of them?
We all tell little white lies at some points in our lives. I admit I do. But I make it a point and a living principle that I will only treat my friends how I would like them to treat me. If I had to conceal something from people that I really regard as my true friends, due to the timing or the circumstance, I make it a point to come clean of it at an appropriate time and setting. I'm straight talking and a lot of times I hold nothing back.... which means I can be rather tactless. But my true friends know that... and because of it, they know that they can count on what I say to be truly what I feel / know. If a dress looks horrible on you, you can be assured I will tell you it looks horrible and that you should choose something else! I don't like to be a sycophant and I will not choose to be one. And if I don't feel like meeting up for coffee I would say so. And I certainly make no qualms about telling my friends I can't meet up cos I have a date or I'm meeting some guy. I would in fact openly say "yes I'm putting guys ahead of you" becos I know my friends appreciate me for being honest with them rather than cook up some excuse for missing the outing and then get caught later in a lie when they found out I was out with a guy instead.
And most importantly, I will NOT make use of my friends and in the process get them into trouble. Those of you within my circle of trust would know... the only times when my personal problems spill over is when I b*tch about them. I will not stoop to getting my friends embroiled in an argument or disagreement with my partner. Whatever problem my partner has with me, that is solely between the two of us.
These are the choices I made about how I am, how I want to live my life and how I treat the word "friendship". I wasn't born with these principles... rather these are decisions that I consciously make as I was growing up from what I see around me and my experiences... after I have looked into my rear view mirror.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
The Insatiable desires of an incorrigible fan...
Yes call me incorrigible... I haven't got my hands on the book but I know the ending to Harry Potter book 7 already... plus who died and what the plot was all about... hehe....
At the very least, that will keep me satisfied until I get my hands on the paperback version of the book. I simply do not believe in spending a fortune on the hardcover... hahaha
At the very least, that will keep me satisfied until I get my hands on the paperback version of the book. I simply do not believe in spending a fortune on the hardcover... hahaha
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Comfort Zone... too comfortable?
Warning - random ramblings here... hahaa
Someone recently commented that she's amazed how Singaporeans get so much freedom and free space when we are kids and yet a large majority grow up to be adults with ghastly narrow-minded views of the world. For a society where youngsters are free to hang out with their friends, with minimal (and for some, none) adult supervision and plenty of exposure to society, it does seem to beg the question of what we do with our freedom and space when growing up, so much so that we know so much less and pretty often, we display a kind of unforgivable smugness in showing off our tinted viewpoints.
That comment got me thinking... and I have to admit that I'm guilty of it. We all are... in one way or another. And when I think about what made me this way... I guess it's because I grew up here... where everything is safe, where we are taught to just follow the rules and we'll be alright, where we learn everything out of a textbook and never learned to ask questions or to ask why. In a way... I think I grew up being taught to take certain things for granted... security, how things work around here. Especially since Singapore is so small and everyone practically stays with their parents all their life until they are married. Like my brother... when he was in uni, despite having common laundry rooms in the hostel, he still brought back bags of dirty laundry for my mom to handle for him. How sheltered can we get?
It has created somewhat of a comfort zone for me... as in I know that there will be certain things I don't have to worry about so long as I follow the steps that has been laid before me. And I think I would have been worse if I had not ventured to be rebellious when I was young... if I had stayed at home quietly like my parents wanted me to instead of staying at the hostel and enjoying my freedom; if I had followed my dad's advice to study arts instead of trying something new; if I had listened to my mom and become a teacher instead of seeking out something that I was really interested in doing; if I had listened to everybody else and got married and settled with a family at an early age before I even knew what I wanted in life.... basically it would have been much worse if I had lived my life how everybody else wanted me to live... instead of how I wanted it for myself.
I'm not blaming anything for making me narrow-minded. I'm just running through my head what would have happened if I had been contented in sheltered life. And I think that will not have made me happy... it would only make me complain more. And it is certainly not something that I want to put my own children through (if I have them). I think if neccessary, I might even consider putting them up in a separate residence (e.g. rent a flat and settle the rental) and put them on a tight budget, I might do so... so if they want to buy anything extra, well... they'll have to find a job and expose themselves to reality out there and earn their keep...
Anyway, it's still too far ahead to think of that... but just toying with the idea....
Someone recently commented that she's amazed how Singaporeans get so much freedom and free space when we are kids and yet a large majority grow up to be adults with ghastly narrow-minded views of the world. For a society where youngsters are free to hang out with their friends, with minimal (and for some, none) adult supervision and plenty of exposure to society, it does seem to beg the question of what we do with our freedom and space when growing up, so much so that we know so much less and pretty often, we display a kind of unforgivable smugness in showing off our tinted viewpoints.
That comment got me thinking... and I have to admit that I'm guilty of it. We all are... in one way or another. And when I think about what made me this way... I guess it's because I grew up here... where everything is safe, where we are taught to just follow the rules and we'll be alright, where we learn everything out of a textbook and never learned to ask questions or to ask why. In a way... I think I grew up being taught to take certain things for granted... security, how things work around here. Especially since Singapore is so small and everyone practically stays with their parents all their life until they are married. Like my brother... when he was in uni, despite having common laundry rooms in the hostel, he still brought back bags of dirty laundry for my mom to handle for him. How sheltered can we get?
It has created somewhat of a comfort zone for me... as in I know that there will be certain things I don't have to worry about so long as I follow the steps that has been laid before me. And I think I would have been worse if I had not ventured to be rebellious when I was young... if I had stayed at home quietly like my parents wanted me to instead of staying at the hostel and enjoying my freedom; if I had followed my dad's advice to study arts instead of trying something new; if I had listened to my mom and become a teacher instead of seeking out something that I was really interested in doing; if I had listened to everybody else and got married and settled with a family at an early age before I even knew what I wanted in life.... basically it would have been much worse if I had lived my life how everybody else wanted me to live... instead of how I wanted it for myself.
I'm not blaming anything for making me narrow-minded. I'm just running through my head what would have happened if I had been contented in sheltered life. And I think that will not have made me happy... it would only make me complain more. And it is certainly not something that I want to put my own children through (if I have them). I think if neccessary, I might even consider putting them up in a separate residence (e.g. rent a flat and settle the rental) and put them on a tight budget, I might do so... so if they want to buy anything extra, well... they'll have to find a job and expose themselves to reality out there and earn their keep...
Anyway, it's still too far ahead to think of that... but just toying with the idea....
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Wearing you down... slowly but surely
Sometimes I wonder how some people can stand it being the way they are... basically these people that I'm referring to are the ones that tend to wear you down, and make you so frustrated and tired that you just feel like throwing in the towel or snapping at them. How? Well, there are a number of ways...
1) Nagging & repetitive inquisitors
These are the kinds of people who will repeat and repeat themselves till you break. It doesn't matter that you have spent the last few days (sometimes weeks or even months!!) listening to the same old story. And the worse comes when these people start going after everyone else repeating the same questions.... you start wondering where did their ears go or do they have a brain to absorb the repeated answers. By the time the person completes a full circuit of the people around you and comes back to you, you are ready to chew his head off.
2) Indecisive fence squatters
These are the kind of people that refuse to make a decision and sometimes you wonder what got them to their status in the first place. You give them a choice between A & B and they go beating round the bush till the cows come home and they have still not indicated whether their choice is A or B. And not to mention they take their own sweet time at it too. By the time they come back to you with a grandfather story, you realised you've either run out of time or you have to stand next to them threatening to strangle them before they nail down that decision. Much of the time, you realise these people are such cowards that you end up having to decide for them and take the responsibility, which should not be yours to take in the first place.
Yes... I'm having a bad day.... Argh!!!!
1) Nagging & repetitive inquisitors
These are the kinds of people who will repeat and repeat themselves till you break. It doesn't matter that you have spent the last few days (sometimes weeks or even months!!) listening to the same old story. And the worse comes when these people start going after everyone else repeating the same questions.... you start wondering where did their ears go or do they have a brain to absorb the repeated answers. By the time the person completes a full circuit of the people around you and comes back to you, you are ready to chew his head off.
2) Indecisive fence squatters
These are the kind of people that refuse to make a decision and sometimes you wonder what got them to their status in the first place. You give them a choice between A & B and they go beating round the bush till the cows come home and they have still not indicated whether their choice is A or B. And not to mention they take their own sweet time at it too. By the time they come back to you with a grandfather story, you realised you've either run out of time or you have to stand next to them threatening to strangle them before they nail down that decision. Much of the time, you realise these people are such cowards that you end up having to decide for them and take the responsibility, which should not be yours to take in the first place.
Yes... I'm having a bad day.... Argh!!!!
Monday, July 02, 2007
A bit of both....
| You Can Hang With the Guys and the Girls |
 You've struck a good balance between girlie and laid back. You can keep it casual but when you dress up, you are as girly as the next girl. |
Under the weather...
This is not a good feeling... Woke up with this feeling that the slightest breeze will inspire a freezing chill up my spine and my joints. Not to mention the ruthless aircon temperature in the office... wondering if my body is going to fall victim to a flu or fever soon.
Argh... have not felt this way for some time already. Maybe I'm just getting too caught up with everything else that's happening that I haven't been paying attention to my body. Realised that for the past month, I've been having less than 5 hours sleep each day, with the exception of weekends. That's not a very good habit at all cos sleep that has run away will never come back. And on saturday, someone commented at a BBQ I attended that I've lost weight! *Gulp* Not a good sign for me.... I know panda would beg to differ for her case... hahaha...
Panda - can I borrow some of your fats?? hahahaha *siam before kenna hantam*
Argh... have not felt this way for some time already. Maybe I'm just getting too caught up with everything else that's happening that I haven't been paying attention to my body. Realised that for the past month, I've been having less than 5 hours sleep each day, with the exception of weekends. That's not a very good habit at all cos sleep that has run away will never come back. And on saturday, someone commented at a BBQ I attended that I've lost weight! *Gulp* Not a good sign for me.... I know panda would beg to differ for her case... hahaha...
Panda - can I borrow some of your fats?? hahahaha *siam before kenna hantam*
