Look into the mirror of your heart...

How often do we look into the mirror to find ourselves and analyse what we have done? When things go awry in our work, relationships and life, how often do we look at the problem with a rear view mirror and ask where we have gone wrong?

Were there occasions where you felt that your colleagues are unduly rude to you or unfriendly? Or you find that everytime you ask your colleague for a task or a favour, they show you an attitude that tells the world they don't enjoy working with you? Perhaps it is time you look back at that rear view mirror and ask what have you done to incur such feelings. Have you ever been rude or unreasonable to them? Have you done anything that incurred their grudge e.g. told their boss something that you didn't have to and it reflected badly on them?

Were there occasions where you wonder where all your friends have gone? Where were the times when you get to share in everything they do? Where were the times when you hung out with them and b*tched about everything? When was the last time your friends let you in on everything they do? Perhaps it is time you look into your heart and ask what have you done for your friends? Have you bothered to take the initiative to keep in touch with them? Have you neglected them? Have you bothered to manage your time so you can spend time with your friends when they ask you out? Have you incurred their mistrust by lying to them? or worse... repeatedly done so? Have you made use of them?

We all tell little white lies at some points in our lives. I admit I do. But I make it a point and a living principle that I will only treat my friends how I would like them to treat me. If I had to conceal something from people that I really regard as my true friends, due to the timing or the circumstance, I make it a point to come clean of it at an appropriate time and setting. I'm straight talking and a lot of times I hold nothing back.... which means I can be rather tactless. But my true friends know that... and because of it, they know that they can count on what I say to be truly what I feel / know. If a dress looks horrible on you, you can be assured I will tell you it looks horrible and that you should choose something else! I don't like to be a sycophant and I will not choose to be one. And if I don't feel like meeting up for coffee I would say so. And I certainly make no qualms about telling my friends I can't meet up cos I have a date or I'm meeting some guy. I would in fact openly say "yes I'm putting guys ahead of you" becos I know my friends appreciate me for being honest with them rather than cook up some excuse for missing the outing and then get caught later in a lie when they found out I was out with a guy instead.

And most importantly, I will NOT make use of my friends and in the process get them into trouble. Those of you within my circle of trust would know... the only times when my personal problems spill over is when I b*tch about them. I will not stoop to getting my friends embroiled in an argument or disagreement with my partner. Whatever problem my partner has with me, that is solely between the two of us.

These are the choices I made about how I am, how I want to live my life and how I treat the word "friendship". I wasn't born with these principles... rather these are decisions that I consciously make as I was growing up from what I see around me and my experiences... after I have looked into my rear view mirror.