Nightmares....

It's been a long time since I remembered any dreams I've had when I sleep, much less a nightmare. Last night, it was one of those rare moments when I have a really bad nightmare. I dreamt that there was this dark presence with a truly evil voice tempting, coaxing, persuading me to give up the struggle, as it tries to engulf and overwhelming me in some evil black blob (for lack of a better word to describe it). The blob was a fog-like swarmp, fluid, like a thick oily liquid and moving fast to trap my legs and one arm within it. I struggled to get free with my other arm but I had nothing to hang on to and my free arm couldn't move.

For some reason I knew it was evil, and while I couldn't hear what the voice was saying, it almost sounded like the devil was talking to me.... threatening me and discouraging me from freeing myself. In my sleep, I began to say a prayer.... and I was sort of "sleep-talking" my prayer. The most amazing thing is everytime I come to the word "God", I could feel myself waking up a bit, in peace, and my mouth mumbling. And you know how some dreams continue themselves, almost like a sequel. And this one did. No sooner did I fall asleep again, the blob tried to swallow me again. Again I mumbled a prayer and got free.

This went on a few times... in fact I remember "praying" myself awake 3 times and the fourth time I fell asleep, the attack came on even stronger than before. It almost felt as though I could feel my whole room filled to the brim with this dark presence and it was threatening to stop me from breathing so I won't mumble and "pray" myself awake again. In a desperate cry for breath, I prayed "save me, God" and I could feel myself gasping for air at the word "God" as I woke up... eyes wide open as I felt a sense of peace and calm decend upon me and spread throughout the room.

Sounds frightening and supernatural I know... but when God gives a reminder call this loud and clear, it just goes to show one thing. I've been backsliding for too long and it's time to return to Him.

bak chang......no more....

After indulging myself in plenty of bak chang and "peng kuey" over the past weekend, I'm feeling pretty much like a stuffed bak chang myself...and seriously, this is NOT the time to get fat. Afterall the Great Singapore Sale is here and it's time to look out for cheap but nice clothes!!

Anyone of you hit the shops yet?? Heard from a colleague tht M)phosis has got some pretty good bargains... with some items going at 50% discount!

Sometimes, after being in a certain job after a period of time, one sort of longs for a break. And it's not the vacation kind of break I'm referring to. Rather.... it's a break from the focus and need to use certain skills properly. For example, my work involves a certain amount of writing - choosing words to use, phrasing of sentences, looking out for grammar. And sometimes I get so tired for this word craft that I just want to throw proper English out of the window for a while, say on forums or blogs.

or maybe I'm just getting too stressed up..... *readsd above* What a load of rambling nonsense.

anyway, the point is, I'm still alive.... heh

Have been neglecting my blog for some time.... hmmm... guess I haven't been inspired to write much these past few weeks... (or is it months already??)

Anyway been feeling that I've been staying at home a little too much these few months and seem to be losing touch of what's happening outside... perhaps it's long overdue that I start meeting up with some friends that I haven't met up for some time... heh....

"I'm Head Boy!!"

Swish and Flick....

12", Holly, Dragon
You scored 47 wisdom, 38 bravery, 15 emotional, and 11 martyrdom!
Holly is a powerful protective wood that good for use against evil, but it also represents dreams and fertility. Your dragon's heartstring core makes your wand very effective in hexes.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 58% on wisdom
You scored higher than 60% on bravery
You scored higher than 31% on emotional
You scored higher than 6% on martyrdom

What's Your Wand

hmmm...

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

But i don't intend to be hungry or bald anytime soon.... *gasp*

mourning for a kitten...

Today I did a terrible thing.... I found a kitten at my office building yesterday morning and apparently it has been abandoned by its mother since sunday. It was hungry and its eyes were still closed... barely a few days old. I tried to feed it some milk this morning but after thinking through, there's no way I can take care of the kitten even if I brought it home... newborns need to be fed kitten formula milk once every 2 hours... there's no one at home that can take care of it.... I asked a few colleagues and most already have cats at home to take care of and unwilling to take on another. There seemed to be no alternative and it would have died if it continued to stay outside without the mother.... out of hunger and dehydration, suffering while it died.

I brought the poor kitten to SPCA this evening, and the probability is that it will be put down humanely. The minute I stepped out of SPCA I felt so sad... as though I had been the murderer surrendering the kitten to SPCA. I cried and cried on my way home and still crying now as I thought about the kitten. It was so adorable and such a fighter too... spirited kitten. If only the mother cat hadn't abandoned it at such a young age... it would have survived... it would have had a life....

It was a terrible thing to do and how I hate myself for having done it....I do hope they feed the kitten tonight before it's put to sleep tomorrow... at least it would have slept well... having satisfied its hunger....

I;m sorry kitten.... bye...

hehe... black wings... just how i like them....

Brooding FaerieYou are the Brooding Faerie. You are always working over something in your mind. Not exactly thoughtful, but... brooding. Something has happened to you that requires a lot of thinking over; and it's probably not good. Wings: Black Power: Darkness Sexual appeal: You are a distant and vague person; the perfect type to try to win over. Many guys see you as a challenge that they'd love to overcome, with your heart as the prize. Maybe after you're in love you'll be able to let the darkness in your heart pass. What you look for in a guy: You look for the same, dark-emotional guy, someone that reflects your feelings and that has the same outlook as you. Usually he has dark/black eyes and hair, and sometimes he even wears mascara and eye shadow, but strangely enough you don't seem to attract these kinds of guys. Go figure.
Take this quiz!

Smokin'.... literally....

My notebook suffered a black-out yesterday and my company's helpdesk has loaned me a spare unit for my working purposes. I managed to salvage my hard disk and RAM from my notebook and have it switched to the loan unit so that i can continue to do my stuff at a proper speed...

and just now the IBM guys came to test my notebook and in the middle of it, the notebook started smoking.... literally.... well... that's a first.

Somehow i find the incident rather hilarious because i think it's a first my helpdesk guys have encountered... and considering my notebook is only 1.5 years old.... it's a rather clear sign that my notebook would rather "commit suicide" than to be overworked by me... hahaha

Feel free to complain!!

No self-analysis is complete without hearing the negative side of things... so here goes... click here and choose 5-6 negative words that you think most aptly describes me!!

The Dance

The Dance
A lone shade
mutely waits, breathing
snake-like wisps spiraling
in the humid breeze.

A nameless tune
hummed softly, solo
in the chorus
of midnight traffic.

The corner window
on the top floor,
singled out
from the fluorescent parade.

Twin silhouettes
waltzing, within the lighted screen,
tangled and intertwined
in a liberated dance.

A callous epitaph,
mourned to opened eyes,
dissipating the warmth
of the forgotten spectre.

You would be a Forest Spirit. You are quiet and
calm, and go with which ever way the wind
blows you.

INFO: A Forest Spirit is a faerie-like creature
found in the legends, folklore, and mythology
of many different cultures. They are
generally humanoid in form, though of a
higher, spiritual nature and so possessed of
preternatural abilities, along with such
mystical qualities as otherworldly beauty and
grace, an ethereal glow, wings, or the like.

YOUR WORDS:
Breezey
Growth
Nature


What Kind of Mythical Creature are You? (WITH PICS FOR ALL 12 RESULTS)
brought to you by Quizilla

Time to hit the battlefield

Maybe it's just me... I noticed a certain trend in my own behaviour... i.e. I tend to play more PC games when I'm stressed up or working hard at something. Previously work was rather busy and stressful, so I found myself finishing the entire Battle for Middle Earth campaign in a matter of 2 weeks....

and now I'm devoting time to finish as much of my dissertation as possible each week, I hitting the games again.... only thing is... it's Battle for Middle Earth II!!!! Yipee... felt so glad that I bought the game... and seriously I think they should make all computers so super powerful that you don't have to keep upgrading your specs so that you can play the latest games.... :S

BFME II seems as exciting as BFME I to play.... only thing is... the battalions are bigger, more complicated and you have to purchase your own upgrades to the barracks and archery range. Hey whatever happened to auto-upgrade which was so cool in the first game? I like the create-a-hero feature that enables you to create your own hero.... and BFME II is packed with so many options to play -- campaign, skirmish or even a War of the Ring campaign that is similar to the card game... heh... not to mention there are more scenarios to play since this is based more on the book than just the films... kekeke

It's gaming time.... kekekeke

tell me what you think...

It's time i find out what people think about me.... Click here!

how abnormal am I?? I thought I was mad!!

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

What luck...!

I'm never a person who believes much in luck... except I tend to think that I'm not that lucky most of the time. But the past weekend has been surprisingly lucky....

Went to a friend's place for mahjong and luck was shining on my side... even after "bao-ing" one round of loses, I emerged the biggest winner with $20... kekeke we played small lah... only 20-40 cents for one "tai"....

And on the way to collect my car from the carpark after the game, who should I see but a parking pontianak standing right in front of my coupon-less car!! And again lady luck was with me for she was looking at her sms and hasn't had time to look at my car. I quickly opened the door and drove off... *phew*

Then at another friend's place, just as we were parking, we saw the parking pontianak again!! We quickly tore off a coupon and placed it in the car to avoid the summons... kekeke...

And at my friend's friend's place ... (it sounds confusing yeh... but I don't really know the house owner... ) there was a game of blackjack. Although we played for a short time, I won $4... kekeke... and that was on top of the winnings i had earlier in the day from mahjong... Yahoo!!

though winnings are small... any winning is good luck. not to mention evading the parking pontianaks!! What luck!!

Gong Xi Gong Xi...

... But not neccessarily Fa Cai... went to play blackjack at a colleague's place during the third day of Chinese New Year and the host had such good luck that everyone lost... almost every penny they bet. hmmm... gambling during Chinese New Year seem to have lost its shine on me... esp when I'm losing... kekeke

Anyway, Happy Lunar New Year and hope it bore more good fortunes to you than me. :D

I'm a Morning Grouch...

Yep... no doubt about it. It's be confirmed, stamped and verified. I'm definitely not a morning person. Perhaps it's because I'm never getting enough sleep. The silly body system refuses to feel sleepy till 2 plus in the morning and by the time I wake up at 7 plus for work, the grouch has surfaced.

I prefer mornings when I can wake up and quietly go about my own stuff... get a shower, get dressed for work and just leave for work. It would be most ideal if I can have a nice hot cup of coffee peacefully as well.... but somehow mom seems to think that morning is the best time to chat. Can't blame her really cos I'm never around until late at night, by which time she has gone to sleep.

Simple chatting.. i can do in the morning. Simply don't nag at me for doing this, not doing that, should do this, not do that etc. When that happens, the grouch roars...

So there it is... I'm a confirmed morning grouch. More of a nocturnal creature cats are....

Thank God it's a sunny Friday morning!

Finally!! After more than a week of cold and wet days, today I woke up to a sunny morning, complete with a nice clear blue sky. Thank God!!

The cold weather has been quite a challenge to me, having caught a cold during the Hari Raya Haji public holiday. Been trying to recover from a cold, sore throat and cough all at the same time. Rather trying on the body and especially since cold weather makes me perpetually HUNGRY...

*ahem ahem* Almost finished one entire box of Strepsils but the good thing is the sore throat is gone. Now there's just the stupid cough to deal with...

I look forward to more sunny mornings like this.. :D

Earthy Brown...

Took the "What's your true color" test on Tickle.com and this is what i get... kekeke

Your true color is Brown!

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.